Looking back, looking forward

I haven’t blogged properly for a little while and so the beginning of a new year seems like a good place to pick it up again. But first the formalities – I hope those who may be reading had a relaxing and joyful Christmas and that you are blessed in the coming year.

I don’t generally do ‘looking back’ but I guess it’s been a year with some pretty momentous (for me anyway) events. I guess being selected as a candidate has to be considered a ‘biggie’ and I could add other things like conferences, placement and so on. And I suppose it’s only right to acknowledge their significance. But looking back at them I don’t feel any particular sense of achievement as such. Had I gained these things through my own efforts or my own hard work or my own diligence then I could rightly note them as achievements. However, that’s not how I look at them, especially in retrospect. All that I have done is tried faithfully to tread the path that I feel God is urging me along. I suppose that’s a pretty big ‘all’ when you think about it, but there’s a sense of ‘rightness’ about it that makes the events of the past year less momentous. That’s not to diminish their significance but simply to note that following God should be the rule rather than the exception and so such things become, in a sense, unexceptional.

Looking forward is a rather different matter. There’s the old joke that if you want to give God a laugh, tell Him your plans. I’ve given up on plans (sort of). Mine never seem to work out anyway. So, rather than plans there are hopes. There is the hope that I can continue to sense what that right path is. This is particularly true for when it comes to putting in place my options for future placements and, looking further ahead still, probation. There is a possibility that I might be able to do my summer placement in one of the European locations. That might sound like a ready-made holiday, but there are lots of family considerations to account for. There’s also the pretty major issue of what I’ll be doing after the summer. Do I go back for a Masters or do I push for a part-time, paid, post somewhere to get experience and cash? That’s actually something that will need resolved sooner rather than later as I’ll need, at least, to apply for a Masters place by the end of March, which means investigating options before that.

In the meantime there’s still the small issue of finishing fourth year.

And that’s just me. There are also some ‘minor’ family matters looming like my older daughter going to uni or possibly embarking on a gap year later this year.

Ah well, to take a liberty with scripture, I will not be anxious about tomorrow and let tomorrow take care of itself. Rather, I will continue to seek God’s Kingdom and allow it to add what it will.

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