Today has been a bit of an odd day. For the last couple of days I’ve been putting my uni notes in order and giving some thought to the specific areas I’ll concentrate on for revision. But today we had some visitors so the place has had a bit of a tidy-up and I haven’t been doing a lot of uni work (we’ve got our 6-year-old nephew staying overnight).
But the really odd thing about today is that I’ve had the strongest feeling that there’s something I ought to have been doing and haven’t done it. Then earlier this evening I realised what it was – I’m not participating directly in worship tomorrow. And that feels really odd. It’s like something’s ‘missing’ or I’m not doing what I’m supposed to. Maybe it’s just the relative novelty of not ‘doing’ on a Sunday morning but maybe it’s a feeling worth exploring further. ‘Why’ do I feel like this? Is it simply a feeling of wanting to be involved or is it symptomatic of a more questionable ‘need’ for purpose? I guess there is the potential for both the good and the bad in feeling this way. There’s a risk that ‘value’ is only sensed when ‘doing’. But then there’s also the outlook that this is an effect of a sense of call, a desire to serve.
Hmmm… a bit deep and meaningful for a Saturday night. Off to read some 5th century Christian history. That’ll put things back in perspective, I’m sure.